Where does Jealousy come from?
Why do we yearn for approval from others?
Why can't we simply be happy with the life we have?
I don't have answers... I struggle with this concept when I least expect it. I will be having a good day and then something will hit my heart at just the right angle and... there I go. I feel.....
Unworthy.
Undesired.
Unloved.
Question number two I actually do have an answer, and it can be found in an earlier blog titled: Desire & Approval I want to be a human who can stand in confidence of who I am and who I am becoming. I want to not care about what others say, think, or act like. However, there needs to be a balance, and I'm trying to figure that one out. God placed us in community for a reason. Just... what is that reason? I think there are many, and it is important to remember that when we are feeling hurt -- either by ourselves or by others. Typically, after I feel the emotion of jealousy, I feel anger right after. Is that just me? I don't know. It is not something people normally talk about in the common social gathering. Ironic, I know.
Why don't we, though?
Because it's ugly?
Because it takes vulnerability?
Because it could hurt?
I think all of the above.
The crazy thing is, is that if we express our hearts and the ugliness inside, it can be a beautiful thing.
Think about it.
Imagine.
Someone in your life in an authority role. Let's say... my father.
He comes to me one day when I'm home, and expresses some of his fears... limitations...
mess-ups.
I am going to respect him and look up to him a lot more after our conversation than if he would simply keep everything inside.
The same can happen when we express our jealousy. God can bring healing if we simply admit our emotions and try and figure out what to do about it. Like I said, I'm still struggling with all of this. Not in the typical, "I want the things she has." But in the random moments in life that have to do with my heart.
Grace.
I need grace.
Why do we yearn for approval from others?
Why can't we simply be happy with the life we have?
I don't have answers... I struggle with this concept when I least expect it. I will be having a good day and then something will hit my heart at just the right angle and... there I go. I feel.....
Unworthy.
Undesired.
Unloved.
To name a few.
Question number two I actually do have an answer, and it can be found in an earlier blog titled: Desire & Approval I want to be a human who can stand in confidence of who I am and who I am becoming. I want to not care about what others say, think, or act like. However, there needs to be a balance, and I'm trying to figure that one out. God placed us in community for a reason. Just... what is that reason? I think there are many, and it is important to remember that when we are feeling hurt -- either by ourselves or by others. Typically, after I feel the emotion of jealousy, I feel anger right after. Is that just me? I don't know. It is not something people normally talk about in the common social gathering. Ironic, I know.
Why don't we, though?
Because it's ugly?
Because it takes vulnerability?
Because it could hurt?
I think all of the above.
The crazy thing is, is that if we express our hearts and the ugliness inside, it can be a beautiful thing.
Think about it.
Imagine.
Someone in your life in an authority role. Let's say... my father.
He comes to me one day when I'm home, and expresses some of his fears... limitations...
mess-ups.
I am going to respect him and look up to him a lot more after our conversation than if he would simply keep everything inside.
The same can happen when we express our jealousy. God can bring healing if we simply admit our emotions and try and figure out what to do about it. Like I said, I'm still struggling with all of this. Not in the typical, "I want the things she has." But in the random moments in life that have to do with my heart.
Grace.
I need grace.
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